An Honorable Man
by kiwiOCD
Summary: A quick and dirty shot across the bows for the next episode – The Squab and the Quail. Possible spoilers for the TV show (Season 5, Episode 21 or 22 depending upon how you order them)
1. Chapter 1

**An Honorable Man**

**Summary - A shot across the bows for the next episode – The Squab and the Quail.**

**Possible spoilers for the TV show (Season 5, Episode 21 or 22 depending upon how you order them)**

**Disclaimer – even in my wildest dreams I don't own Castle or any of the characters. If I did, you'd see way more than primetime TV allows!**  
**All the other legal stuff applies too**.

* * *

She found him in an unlit conference room in the precinct. Backed into a corner alone in the dark with his thoughts. Exiled there since Gates had sent him away when he was unable to maintain control earlier. Beckett had gone in search of him as soon as she could get away. As soon as she could escape the knowing look from Gates and glare of disappointment from Esposito who had set Lanie on her. Lanie's angry diatribe down the phone whilst she drove back to the precinct was still ringing in her ears.

She hit the illumination button for AV she bathed the room in a twilight. Was she such a coward she didn't want the full light to show her so fractured and conflicted?

She closed the door behind her and hunched down in front of him. He barely raises his eyes to acknowledge her.

"I let him kiss me". His eyes raise to meet her now.

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to. Her confession has left the truth of it written across his handsome face. There's a curious mix of emotions she can detect – surprise, disappointment, concern.

No anger. No self-pity.

He doesn't say anything. Just waits. Patiently. As he has done for years. Always.

The blue eyes are rimmed with red. She did this and now she needs to fix it.

She starts to voice her thoughts, she hasn't sorted out the jumble of them in her mind, but there isn't time now to wait. No when he needs, deserves an explanation.

"I'm so sorry. This got out of hand so quickly and then Gates ordered you away. I was wrong and all our, well in this case, your friends had your back and told me so.

"I don't know why I let him kiss me.

"He's not you.

"Not the man I want to be with.

"You're an honourable man, Castle. You waited. You never cheated. Despite the temptation. Moreover, whilst you may not have always respected my personal space, but you never sought to break up my relationships with other men.

"I'm scared.

"What if it doesn't last? What if it does?

"I've never been this far in a relationship before.

"But even before today, I knew there was only one for me.

"You."

She falls silent out of words, and her head drops.

He hasn't spoken all this time. Effectively she has been delivering a monologue to the man who normally articulates as most people breathe.

"Kate.

"You're here. Telling me the truth.

"We agreed no more secrets.

"Whatever happened, you are here in front of me.

"You are extraordinary. I have written these words and told you before. But I want to shout it to the world. To tell them about you. Us.

"But you are so much more.

"The mystery I never want to solve.

"The woman I always fall asleep next to, and wake up next to.

"The ying to my yang.

"My Mother's daughter.

"My Daughter's confidant.

"My best friend.

"My Lover

"My Always.

"You too are the most honourable person I know. You actions as a cop and a detective bring justice for the victims and closure for their families.

"I haven't told you enough that I love you. Beyond anything I have ever felt before, aside from Alexis, and more than anything I hope for in the future except for our children. I want it all. With You.

"ONLY YOU.

"So Katherine Houghton Beckett.

"I. LOVE. YOU.

"And if you wish to choose to join me in this journey, you would make me the most honored man alive."

* * *

**Author's Note**

**I've been editing the next two chapters of One of Us, and this just kept bouncing through my head interrupting. No idea if it fits or not**.


	2. Epilogue

**An Honorable Man – Epilogue. **

**Summary A shot across the bows for the next episode – The Squab and the Quail.**

**SPOILER WARNING! - Possible spoilers for the TV show (Season 5, Episode 21 or 22 depending upon how you order them)**

**Disclaimer – even in my wildest dreams I don't own Castle or any of the characters. If I did, you'd see way more than primetime TV allows!**  
**All the other legal stuff applies too.**

* * *

Beckett sank down beside Castle. His words had stunned her. Expecting anger and justified reproach, he had shown compassion and trust. More than that he had once again opened his soul to her. Laid everything on the line.

Last time she had rejected him and he had rightly walked away. The easiest thing would be to say 'Yes', to accept the full implications of his words but he deserved much more. She is not going to reject him but she can't accept now. To do so would be to dishonor the man next her. He is worthy of so much more.

"Rick, I would be incredibly honoured if you would let me choose you.

"But right now I don't deserve it. Don't deserve you.

"I don't know how it is that you are able to write about the darkest parts of humanity and yet see the lightness and best in others? In me?

"So can we not do this today? Or for a little while?

"I'm am not rejecting you. But I feel that I need to earn your forgiveness. Prove that I am worthy again of your trust and love. Worthy of our future.

"What your words promise, fill me with such hope for us. But it should be one of the happiest moments in our lives. Not born out of angst and the enormity of my screw ups here.

"I'm still really afraid I've broken something between us. Something sacred that I should have treasured, fought for and not let go at the first real sign of any outside pressure."

She falls silent. He has not yet said anything but his hand has sought hers out and he wraps his around hers and squeezes.

They sit in silence for some minutes.

"Gates is on the warpath. I think she knew about us already but today has confirmed it and it some of the worst possible light. And I can't blame you for that. It is all on me. I was the unprofessional one. The disloyal one.

"You have to know that whilst I didn't stop him kissing me, I didn't kiss him back. I didn't return it and I broke off as soon as I could.

"Still I let him kiss me and I can't excuse it." Her tone, her face, her soul burns with the shame of it.

"Together."

Rick speaks. Kate looks at him. He tone is direct. Almost hard. So serious.

"Together. We are in this together. We will face Gates together. And we will work through this together."

"You are correct about not making the big decisions right now. But there is one decision I have made and it is non-negotiable."

She can feel his eyes on her and she nods her head for him to proceed.

"I was angry and hurt before you got here. I didn't understand what you were thinking and doing. I still don't.

"I trust you. I know it must seem like I don't sometimes but that overeager somewhat creepy staring and the jokes but I do totally. Yet today, I felt like I had been betrayed.

"But as I sat here and thought about everything we have been, are and will be, I reached an epiphany regarding why we end up like this.

"Because we hide. We don't say it out loud. We don't share the truth of us with everyone else. We don't show it every day in public or private regardless of the consequences.

"So I want us to go public now. Not just with Gates and the NYPD – whatever the consequences there – but in the media. I want the World to know that we are together.

"I know it goes against every instinct and desire of yours, but you knew it was a consequence of being with me. Inevitable."

Kate nods, and with a single word she agrees.

"Okay."

No more hiding.

They will guard each other's honor close and the truth of them will be there for all to see.

* * *

**Author's Note**

**Wow some strongly held opinions and responses to the first chapter. **

**I didn't intend it as a more than a quick one shot with lots of holes in it, but it light of the feedback I felt some exposition and further exploration was required.**


End file.
